Truth about Mr & Mrs Right

Written By Benjamin Ngiam

What up Amigos!

Grab the cutest guy or girl closest to you and brace yourselves for impact because today, we are going to talk about Mr & Mrs Right– And the cute guy or girl you just grabbed might just be ‘The One‘!

To make things a little more interesting today, I thought “Why not bring up something a little more fascinating to talk about? Something a little closer to heart?”

So here it is. Our life partner.

Our IDEAL life partner.

Throughout the course of your life…

I’m sure you have overheard your girl friends talking about this or maybe even discussed this yourself with your friends- About this supposedly fantasized or imaginary Male or Female population of the Human World (As made popular by the ever so wonderful and amazing Hollywood and Disney).

But in all honesty, is it really a Fantasy? Or is it possible that such a person exist?

Well, to me, this person actually exist BUT not exactly the way we’d expect them to be.
Let me make things a little clearer…

Chances are, you have always been thinking along this line “My ideal partner has to be rich, good looking and sensitive… Etc” (Yeah, some guys do think about these too!) and some other high level of requirements which would likely make your ideal partner sound almost too good to be true, and in turn, make them sound wishful and non-existent.

In my opinion, the reason that you have never been able to find THEM, is because it has never been about THEM.

It’s never been about what your potential ideal partner owns, how your potential ideal partner looks on the outside… Nor what they are like on the inside.
The fact that you can’t seem to find Mr/Mrs Right isn’t because of the people out there in the world not being able to fit in the bill.

IT HAS NEVER BEEN ABOUT THEM.

It has always been you.

YOUR OWN PERCEPTION of Mr/Mrs Right determines whether they exist or not.

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BOOOOM! I know right? Mind-blown!

Makes sense doesn’t it? If you think about it, your own personal ideal Mr / Mrs Right was never Disney-Perfect until you were exposed to that and was convinced that “Hey, the perfect Prince/Princess might actually exist” and you started expecting to find them in the real world. Damn it Disney. I still love you though.

Truth is, Mr / Mrs Right is actually the person whom, you deem as the ONE who you know that you can and want to live happily ever after with.
The person whom, you know, you can depend on.
The person who understands you and does their best to ensure you are happy and your needs are met (Physical, Psychological & Emotional).

You need him/her as much as he/she needs you.
It doesn’t matter how much money they have.
It doesn’t matter how big his car or house is.

It doesn’t matter as long as YOU don’t think it matters.

The sad truth- Mr / Mrs Right actually existed in our world…
Until the indoctrination of social media sank into our heads and they just disappeared from our radar.
But hey, now that we are aware of this, we can do something about it, can’t we?


What do you think?

I would love to hear your thoughts and opinion on this. I am really interested to know what are the opinions of others around the world on this topic.

You can contact me via doubleyourpresence@gmail.com if you want to keep your thoughts just between the two of us;
OR
You can post your opinion in the comments section where your voices can be heard by people around the world!

Also, do you guys think this post is good enough to be made into a podcast episode? I have a feeling that it is lol what do you think?

Anywho- Till my next post, thanks for reading and I wish you have a great weekend ahead! Talk again soon 😉

Your pal,
Benjamin Ngiam


Enjoyed the article?
Hope you found it useful and use it to fulfill your life mission!

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Find out about PBIY and what we do;
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Hope to see you there, Champ!

[Image featured today in this article is by Aves Photographic Design and Stanley Forthright.]

Here is a funny comic strip for you if you’ve actually read this whole Article 😉
mr-right
[Comic was Taken from this blog post]

45 thoughts on “Truth about Mr & Mrs Right

  1. I have so many things to say about this!!!! My heart may explode of happiness. It is simply as if you wrote down my own thoughts (but in a way i could never have done). You have suuuuuch a talent to write (so easy and envolving).

    But back to your post. I just loved it. I wish the whole world would see it. It is so clever. I am one who always dream about “The one” but how true it is that first it is all up about me, and my own perception of my Mr. Right!!!!! I enjoyed reading it so much, and im sure you will be the most loving man when you find your Mrs. Right.

    I am so so happy i have read this. 💛

    Your amiga,
    Carola 💛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Woah please don’t let your heart explode, I’d lose a good friend lol!

      Didn’t expect to make someone happy with my writing but hey, I’m so glad that it did! It’s always a nice feeling to make someone smile and feel all uplifted inside and for actually being able to get this done without talking to you in person?

      That’s like one of the ultimatum of the joy of making a positive difference in someone’s life. Thanks for letting me know 😉

      I’ve been trying to find Mrs Right and it hasn’t been working so maybe I should try letting her find me instead hehehe.

      Damn it brain.

      Lol but seriously, thanks for the comment! Your words will help push me further to contribute more to this community and y’know, I’d love it if you’d decide join us in this cause as well 🙂

      After all, much like yourself, your blog is like a dom filled with so much energy and I just love that about you and your blog! (Am I using that spanish word right? Lol)

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Like

      1. Hahahaha well, i´ll try to control my heart, but man, the way you write could make anyone´s heart feel that way!!
        Thanks for making a difference in this world by your writing and your beautiful words!!!
        I guess Mrs. Right is dreaming at this moment about you (isn´t it exciting to think about that?). So that´s true, maybe you just have to let her find you 😉
        I am SO SO happy you find my blog as a happy place full of energy, cause that´s exactly the feeling i wanna give to the people who visit me there! I want to bring smiles and make them know they are so appreciated and special! And your blog is totally giving me that feeling too!!!!! I just can’t wait for more posts to come!!!
        You used that word correctly by the way, i loved that 💛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nah, I’m not that lazy of a person.
        Don’t expect myself to be worthy of anyone if I’m a lazy bum so I’m gonna go out and dance everywhere with anyone that I find worthy of my time 😉

        Brilliantly said. I’m currently working on something and seriously, like what I said in my vlog, it’s gonna be epic. Can’t wait to get it up for everyone to see!

        Keep the day “yellow” bud 😉

        Your pal,
        Benjamin

        Like

  2. Who was Mrs Right for me? I think the perfectionist in me I envisioned someone who was physically fit and cover model attractive, intelligent – working on a Phd perhaps, a good sense of humour and who would be supportive of all my dreams and ambitions.

    But one day I had a dream I was with my Mrs Right, we were on a cheap caravan holiday, it was raining and miserable outside so we were stuck in – she was cuddled up to me watching TV and I was reading a book, but I felt so happy that my impression of Mrs Right changed forever. 🙂

    James

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nice! I believe I’d be saying this for most guys when I say we men BELIEVE we want a woman who is ALL THAT which you’ve mentioned but in reality, we just want someone who we can rely on at the end of the day to really just lay around watching netflix or go out window shopping with and maybe just a walk in the park.

      We just want someone to experience life’s awesome richness with y’know?

      Nice comment here bud 😉
      Cheers.

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You had some really good points here, buddy. But I also think that we idolize Mr./Mrs.Right that much that we feel like we don’t deserve that person. What I mean is that we should not only realize that that person is real, but that neither of you are perfect and that’s OKAY. Sometimes the “right” person won’t fit the image you had of him/her on your head and that is also OKAY.

    -RG

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tis’ true RG 😉

      Gotta remember to know where we stand. Never let insecurity get the best of us. If we happen to know that Insecurity is striking? We prepare to fight back.

      Find friends to talk to, go read some self-dev books for some self-empowering moments.

      Whatever it is to remind yourself that nobody is perfect and that is fine because being perfect isn’t human.

      And we are all human 🙂

      Thanks for this comment RG!

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Like

  4. Hey friend,

    You are so superb on subj., you always pull the right strings on thought! I am one in the community who wish to get Mr Right as to my fantasies and perceptions! I never think on the other page where the guy would equally love to see a girl as per his dreams! Somethings may match and others may not..That’s the time of titles where we award the counter saying he/she is rude,cheap etc. but instead feel it as time of understanding as everyone love to see the understanding mate than someone so ideal or right!

    Thoroughly enjoyed reading!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you bud 😉
      Indeed, we’d always be looking for the next best things but sometimes, we gotta remind ourselves to appreciate what we have.

      Not saying that it’s a bad thing to strive for the best in life! But take a look around yourself and see that you do have things which others don’t.

      Simple example is our hands, legs or maybe even our eyes- some ppl are either born handicapped or got into an unfortunate accident which took them away.

      When we cherish and appreciate what we have? Suddenly, the world isn’t as bad as we think hahah!

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts bud! It’s nice to have them posted so other ppl can read too. Expand our minds together 😉

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ll admit when I was younger I did have a Disney view on who my Mr Right was. But these days I only care that Mr Right loves me, cares about me and respects me the same way I would him. As long as we are happy in each other’s company, enjoy and support each other no matter what we do, then that is all that matters. 🙂 ❤

    Like

  6. It is definitely difficult to find someone who fits potentially “dream” high standards that we have created (and it can blind us), but I also think over time experiences cause people to alter or reassess characteristics in a person they want to be with which isn’t necessarily bad either. This topic is not an easy one for me because I went through an 11+ year relationship breakup a few years ago. Thought I knew what I wanted at 18, then we grew up, and the later years I put up with things because I was comfortable… That is until I got to a breaking point and had to ask myself whether this is what I wanted for the next 50 years. Nope! Completely flipped my world upside down. And characteristics that I DIDN’T want in a person came to light. Took me over 10 years to learn what I can’t deal with and I’m not making those same mistakes again. I hate to say that now I have certain standards (although not strict ones) but I already feel like I wasted all of my 20s, and I’m not going through the ringer again. It was already devastating enough, and I am sure people will walk on by who I’ll miss knowing because of these fears and new perspective. Okay, I’ll stop ranting… Good discussion topic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow and I thought my 4-6 years long relationship was bad!

      I’m sincerely sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you went through but you sharing your story with us here is important. It’ll definitely help make a difference for someone else who might be facing an issue that you had, right now at this moment and are reading this.

      Ultimately, no matter what, as we all know by now, in the context of survival- life is all about experiences.

      If you are facing off with a karate master in a tournament, you gotta fight with all the experience you’ve gained thus far as well as DURING the fight itself.

      If you didn’t learn anything from your past experience OR can’t learn anything from the actual fight that’s happening right now?

      You’re gonna have a bad time lol.

      In my opinion, Life operates in the same manner. Learn from the experience, if you don’t, you’re gonna fall and if it’s gonna be a repeated fall? It’s gonna hurt even more because this time, you have the aggravated physical pain AND the added “Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I learn?” Mental abuse.

      So many things to watch out for in life huh? Lol.

      But fortunately of course, life isn’t all that bad. We feel the horrid because we’ve felt the joy before. Hence we’re able to distinguish the difference among the two.

      A man who’ve never had a friendship would never know betrayal just as how a man who’ve never experienced love would never know hate.

      We both had our best experiences and hence are able to feel the worst. That’s good! It shows we are still functioning right lol.

      The thing from now on is that we gotta pick ourselves back up and move on forward towards the new path. Our old path is no longer available. It’s closed. Time to move onto the next chapter. You’re the author of your story.

      You choose who you want to let into your story and you choose the potential paths for everyone in it. Don’t forget that.

      Good discussion indeed my friend 😉
      Again, thanks for sharing. You’re gonna help a lot of people with this one!

      Actually, I just finished producing a video on the topic of happiness. Perhaps you’d be interested to take a look and let me know what you think of it as well if you got the time to spare? The link is here:
      https://projectbiy.com/2016/07/03/pbiy-tv-episode-01-the-secret-to-happiness/

      Any who, if you ever feel like talking or anything? Feel free to email me via doubleyourpresence@gmail.com

      It’s good to have people to talk to 😉
      Not sure how you’re feeling now but definitely hope you’re feeling better!

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I cringe a little every time I say or write how long. It was much longer than it should have been.

        The more I think of this, a part of me thinks one can never truly know if they found the right one until the very end of their life because some couples married many decades who were happy for most of them still divorce unexpectedly. The philosophy major in me says you truly can never “know” because we don’t know the future.

        Happy 4th!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Indeed, but whatever it is, if we want a life filled of happiness and fulfillment? The risk of getting hurt again is worth it.

        Better to take a chance than forever be mulling over the past no? 😉

        Happy 4th too bud! Cheers!

        Your pal,
        Benjamin

        Like

  7. I was a true romantic that believed in soul mates. I believed in ‘the one’ and I waited for him. When I met him, all I can describe it as, is like a clicking. A sense of familiarity (which doesn’t sound romantic at all lol). We were engaged after 6 weeks. After being married for 16 years I can tell you, the most important ingredient to a happy marriage is never giving up on it. Make sure you choose someone who believes in hard work, someone who won’t quit. The secret to a happy marriage is knowing there is no ‘right’ way. You’ll never be finished. It will never be done. You just have to keep working on making it better every single day. So keep those expectations high! Don’t get complacent. Even the healthiest, most beautiful gardens can die in only a short time of neglect. The biggest lie that Disney tried to sell us was ‘the end’ because it never does.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very nicely bud, I cannot agree more!

      A healthy and beautiful relationship is forever a work in progress with both sides giving their supplies of love and efforts.

      No matter how low the “Love” level may become, we must never give up on sparking the flame and bringing it back.

      It’s unfortunate but in my past (And only 1 so far) relationship, I was fully committed to her but she chose to leave because she “Don’t love” me anymore. Can’t say it didn’t hurt but I guess she wasn’t one to be with if she actually chose to leave me when I refused to give up on us. We were together for 4 years so it wasn’t easy hah!

      Listening to your story though, it gives me (As well as other readers I’m sure) hope that “True love” do exist. It just requires lots of work and indeed, it is never finished.

      Just like how there’s never a forever after, it’s always a work in progress to maintain happiness just as it is for maintaining the love, attraction and affection for your partner.

      Thank you so much for writing this. It’s truly something beautiful to read 🙂

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Like

  8. I’ve definitely found Mr Right, after years of bending over backwards and changing who I was for ‘Mr Wrong’ after ‘Mr Wrong’ I decided it was time to spend some time on me. That was short lived as Mr Right came along a few weeks into it, swept me off my feet and helped me on my journey to focus on me. We’ve had our ups and downs and there are times we drive each other crazy, but at the end if the day he accepts me for me and all my crazy ideas and vice versa. While I never had an ideal man list, he is definitely not who I imagined I would end up with, but I think a lot of that was bowing to social pressures of what the perfect relationship should be. We both would just rather be happy and enjoy life than change one another and that’s what makes us work. Brilliant article!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh… Do I hear wedding bells chiming? 😉

      It’s really heartwarming to read stories like this and y’know, we can all see a trend in successful and beautiful relationships- It’s all about acceptance, understanding and working together to maintaining the function of it (Relationship).

      Just as how we do for friendships, sometimes we gotta ask ourselves “Why can’t we do the same?” don’t you think? 😄

      Best friends stick by each other no matter what- especially when we do stupid things after advising each other not to and we end up calling each other bitches for being such dumbasses lol.

      Indeed, “Perfect” is just a set of expectations set by individuals. Some people expect too much from their partner and especially in a one-sided relationship, where one person makes the demands and sets the rules?

      It’ll likely kill the relationship at the end and break the partner’s life force down as he or she will definitely have a heavy load to bear.

      It’s hard to find a partner whom can synchronize up nicely with you so congrats to you both for sticking it through together so far!

      Just a thought- I recently did a video on the “Secret to Happiness” and was just thinking that perhaps when you both happen to have some free time, y’all can check it out and let me know what ya’ll think of it?

      Perhaps a couple will have a different feedback for me hah! The link is right here:

      Thanks for sharing your story and writing in bud! A lot of people can benefit from it so seriously, appreciate it 🙂

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad that you do! I do always encourage everyone to try and think before agreeing though, so I hope you did think through for a bit after reading my article before saying that you agree with whatever I’ve said 🙂

      It’s important to have your own ideas and ideals on things. Not always a good thing to follow blindly just because it seem like the most convenient way to do things.

      Something that I’ve learned is that don’t always follow what everyone else is doing and the reason to that?

      It’s simple- Because not everybody know where the heck they are going lol!

      Unless you’re real sure that your “leader” is one who knows what they are doing and can actually help you enhance yourself in your own mission? Try to question the person’s ideals and answers first before deciding that he or she is fit for you to “listen” to and worth a “follow”.

      Don’t wanna get lead down a hole now, would we? 😉

      Cheers for the comment bud!

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hahaha thank you for sharing this. I relate this to myself all the way reading your post. You seem just pointed out why I’m still FA lol.
    I always think I don’t require much of a man, as long as he loves me and I love him. But the truth is, when someone came, I would just look at him and thought:
    “Well, no. Too old”
    “Oops, too young. No experiences. Unreliable”
    “Uumm.. So cold, not gentle. No sense of humor ”
    “Welll… Too sweet, too handsome. Dangerous, can be unfaithful”
    …. Lol 😂😂😂
    And the lines go on. And I’m sitting here laughing and nodding my head, agreeing that it’s the Mr. Perfect I’ve been looking for maybe 😆😆😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha aren’t we all? 😄
      I’m so glad to see that you can relate to this as well because if you read the comments, most of us actually feel the same way which, to me, is pretty fascinating and epic hah! Don’t you think so?

      We are all out here seeking and yearning for the same thing, yet, we EXPECT the same “Impossible” from each other.

      If we are asked to answer this question:
      “Who’s got themselves a ridiculous expectation in their life partner?”

      We’d all be singing a symphony of “Guilty~”

      Ah… Mr and Mrs Perfect… Stop being so perfect! It’s really stressing us out 😄

      But in all seriousness though, we gotta be conscious about our expectations because after all, “Perfect” is an idea that’s set or created by ourselves in our own head- What may be perfect to you may not be for another.

      In a crude example,
      If you keep seeking a “10” and constantly reject every “9” or lower that you meet? Guess what- That “9” or below WILL become somebody else’s “10” in the future and because there’s a chance that you might not get someone at all because of this out-of-the-world expectations?

      That “9” may suddenly pull a Transformer and transforms into a “10” as time go by. Damn, time is such a powerful tool, isn’t it?

      Thanks for this awesome comment hah! Really enjoyed responding to this one because of the energy and enthusiasm I got from it 😉

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Got the link to your blog on ‘daily post-community pool’ and felt like scrolling through it for once, and being honest I have to admit that I really had a wonderful time reading your posts. Looking ahead for more exciting updates!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cheers Amrit! Thanks for taking the time to let me know 😉

      Will be updating more and definitely hope to be contributing more to your life via this approach!
      Thanks again for the visit and comment bud, really appreciate it 🙂

      Feel free to “Like” the community’s FB Page and share stuff on the page itself!

      Would love to have you getting involved with the community as well 😉

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

  11. So accurate! That’s why I usually say “Mr. Right for Me”
    and when I’m dating someone who’s not MRFM
    I call him “Mr. Right Now”… lol 😉

    I love your posts. You have a new fan!
    I just gave you a “follow”. Looking forward to you future inspiring posts.

    Namaste!
    LIVE ❤ LAUGH … BELLE PAPILLON

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woah the first Namaste I’ve got in WP lol! Not sure how to do it right so I”ll just say “Namaste, to you too”??

      Don’t kill me lol. I’m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for following bud! It means a lot to me when ppl let me know that I’m making a positive difference in their lives because that’ll also mean that they’d be making a positive difference in those around them too 🙂

      Indeed, “Mr Right Now” can be fun and who knows? Perhaps we can convert him into MRFM LOL! Someone should start a program on this…

      Anywho, I’m actually working on producing Theory+Educational videos for PBIY TV at the moment and if you are interested to get involved? Feel free to join us in the next episode!

      Details on how to get involved will be up when episode 2 is live but for now, feel free to check out our episode 1 if you are interested 😉

      And the latest update for epi 2 which I’ve uploaded earlier!
      https://projectbiy.com/2016/07/23/pbiy-tv-epi-2-update/

      Alright Belle, gotta go back to editing so I shall talk to you again soon- Till then, keep singing with your sweet angelic voice and keep the Beast happy 😉 [Referencing Beauty and the Beast here]

      Let me know if you wish to help out in the next episode, yeah?

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed. As human beings, it’s kinda our nature that we tend to over think stuff at times and that is when we got to close our eyes and ears, take a step back from everything as we check in within our internal self and listen to our inner desires and as you’ve mentioned, instincts.

      Sometimes, there ARE things which we’d catch sub-consciously that we wouldn’t notice until we remove “Noises” like this.

      Being in tune with, and the ability to trust oneself is crucial to the well-being of an individual. As easy as it may sound, it’s totally the opposite of a smooth ride as we do have the tendency to beat ourselves up too lol!

      Nice comment btw bud, cheers 😉

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Like

  12. Very interesting post. Brings me to one of my fave quotes:

    ” We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
    Anais Nin.

    Our culture also seems to “teach” us there is only one love out there for us, ie our soulmate, go and find that person. Whereas in reality we are probably going to connect with many, fall in love if we lucky, many times,
    and yes, so much is merely our own perception!

    So nice to read you and find your blog.

    Would love you to swing by mine and read your thoughts re the latest post!

    http://www.greenglobaltrek.com

    Welcome,
    Peta

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing these and your website too! Really nice site you got 🙂

      Especially LOVED the story telling and the fun photos of you and Ben haha! Left you some comments so talk over there too!

      Btw, you’re both making a difference with your own projects and I think that is seriously beautiful and epic. Do you perhaps have a story article written on it? Like sharing how you’ve gone from thinking about it to actually traveling over and starting building houses and creating jobs in Central America?

      Would seriously love to listen or read that story if you guys have that so let me know alright?

      If you’d like, you can always email me too! My email is always open to anyone in need or anyone who wants to share something positive and inspiring 🙂

      Talk to you soon!

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Like

    1. Mmm wisely said.

      In my experience, it’s about commitment. Doesn’t matter what happens as long as the duo remain committed to each other, they will get through hell together. Just lovely 🙂

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts- Perhaps you can elaborate further on your perspective? I’m sure readers would love to have a much deeper insight on your perspective in this topic!

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Like

  13. I agree, we make it about ourselves and that’s also why relationships often don’t last. But then it should be about ourselves. Because we are in it too. The thing is that if you find the right person you will know. You just know. And they might be very different from what you dreamed of. That’s the moment you have to make the decision: Do you want a partner for life that is your perfect partner or do you simply keep chasing for an accessory.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh so true. It can’t be one-sided indeed.
      Also, the accessory part, it’s a very nice analogy here. Never thought of it that way before.

      Thank you so much for writing this comment and sharing with us! This could help inspire others who are still searching for their life partner, to be a little more patient 🙂

      In your experience/knowledge, what do you think is the most common cause of break ups or relationship failure? Any ways to perhaps prevent it or lessen the chances of it occurring?

      Your pal,
      Benjamin

      Liked by 1 person

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