About Benjamin

Benjamin Ngiam

[Note: This page is about the author. For a summary on what this site is about, click HERE.]

Hi, Benjamin here!

I want to take some time to welcome you to my website and of course, to introduce myself and answer the question which you might be asking: “Who is Benjamin Ngiam?” (Pronounced Ngee-ah-mm. Some say Yum! But no, not yum. Damn it.)

I  am a man who wish to help people understand the dynamics of social interactions, learn to be more self-confident as they understand themselves and discover their true potential through my own experience- Through all that, inspire them to live their lives to the fullest and in turn, inspire others too!

I started out as a social outcast

I’m actually just a regular guy who went through life the way an average guy would but got to a point where I decided that I needed to do something to get a part of my life settled. That part of my life which I would like to call “Social Life”.

I will not go into too much details but I was going through a time where I was single, have not many friends to speak of and also, not much of a social life as I spent most of my days in front of my computer or TV screen playing video games or watching TV shows and movies. All time well spent, in my opinion, as I actually got time to finish good TV Series like F.R.I.E.N.D.S (One of my favorite) but needless to say, that lifestyle had a toll on my Social Skills with people and it sure didn’t help when I was placed into social situation where communication was inevitable and I had to either try to find things to talk about or keep to myself in my own comfort of my mind.

I had to go through the cycle of awkward social situations for so many times that I lost count. It did not feel good to always be the one being isolated for being quiet as the others went on to form groups and cliques together without me.

At first, it felt like people were just being mean. Then, I started to believe that people were treating me the way they did because of how I looked. I was a fat and unkempt individual who always looked sloppy in the way I dress because I did not care much about how I presented myself back then.
I started working out and seek help from my brother for fashion sense advise. Sure enough, there was some improvement in my interaction with people. However, I noticed something. Though I am getting some attention from people now (Able to start conversation, I was very proud of myself then already), I was not able to keep the conversation going and soon, no matter what, people will never want to return to talk to me.

I was able to establish contact with people around me, sure. But I was not able to establish any connection and hence, I was not able to create a friendship. People thought I was weird as well because of the way I behaved.

I started analyzing and observe people’s behavior even more. I started questioning myself on why things are happening the way they are and mostly, why do people behave the way they do? I started reading up on people’s behavior and experimenting while interacting with people I meet as well to study their responses. It was all a new, exciting and eye opening experience for me as I went further into this area of life.

The study led me to discover many new perspectives in life which I find to be really insightful. As I went on with it and discovered new things which I just really had to share, I started talking with some of my friends about all of this. Like me, they were all intrigued by all my studies and some theories that I came up with.

Keep in mind though, at the time, even though I read quite a bit of stuff on Psychology and talk to a lot of people as I observe and analyze things by myself, I did not study Psychology. In fact, I did not actually realize that such field actually exists, where people study the behavior and cognition of other human beings professionally (I know, I was just that dense) until one day, when a buddy of mine (Jer) told me I should go take up the course of Psychology, which I did and it opened up a whole new level of perspective and knowledge for me.

Today, because of all the researches, observations, analysis, experiments and other experiences that I have been through, I learned quite a lot of stuff which I have found to be useful in my life. That is one of the reasons why I have decided to create this site as well. Not just as a place to log down what I have learned but also, to share with you and the rest of the world what I have discovered in my lifetime which actually proved to be useful.

I was a man of very low self-esteem and confidence. I had no sense of self-identity. The type of guy who would always choose to hide in a corner when thrown into social situations and would later, regret not being able to do anything and start thinking about how awesome it would be if he can become someone else, secretly wishing that somehow, a magical fairy-godmother would suddenly appear out of nowhere and magically transform him into a social butterfly who can just walk up and talk to anybody he sees without much worries.
I wanted that identity which, I never thought I would ever be able to attain without any miracle.

After spending so much time studying, analyzing and going through many trial and errors of different social situations and relationship issues, I have finally become a man who I believe, to be quite influential and stable in his social life (And life itself).

I was a scared Caterpillar, which created and trapped itself inside a cocoon, breaking down and restructuring every part of me before coming out again, completing the process of metamorphosis into a bubbly Butterfly.

I formed my new identity and I never looked back

I succeeded in transforming myself into a new better upgraded version of me and now, I started noticing something about the people around me. It wasn’t as apparent to me before because I was so focused on my own problems but, after I got myself more or less settled with my social issues, I started to realize that A LOT of people are actually having the same issues that I had before!

I was so amazed by the fact because, in all honesty, I never actually realized it! I have always thought that I was alone in this, that nobody would actually understand what I was going through because they don’t know what its like to be socially awkward. Reality was that there were actually people like me back then, I just didn’t notice it. I was so caught up by my own problems that my mind chose to neglect those who were having problems as well because they did not matter to me in any way even though we have the same issue.

Hence, I created Double Your Presence, my previous website which focuses solely on helping people with social issues. A place where people will have a “Guide/Support” to be there for them if they need someone because in the past, when I had no one, it was horrible and I don’t want anyone else to experience that feeling of hopelessness. Not if I can do anything about it anyway.

During the period when DYP was active, I’m glad to say that I’ve managed to make a number of difference in the lives of others, given the circumstances at the time (I had to struggle between work, personal life and the site). Made some friends who’ve definitely played a huge role in my life too whom, I’ve helped and they helped me back in return.

Shoutout to RG, Linden, Aakansha, Kim, Lily, Greg, and the rest (Sorry, this list will get too long if I go on. Doesn’t mean you don’t mean anything to me, you guys are all awesome!)- I want to thank you all for sharing your stories with me and also, for listening to mine as well when I needed support!

However, after several years of running DYP, I realized something else. I want to do more than helping people with Social Problems. I want to help inspire people to live their lives to the fullest and make a positive difference in the lives of my friends, family and even people I’ve yet to befriends with!

Be it by sharing my knowledge on Socializing or sharing some part of my life or maybe even just interacting and listening to your problems- I want to start a chain reaction of positivity in this life and spread love and happiness. Help people realize their dreams and live the life they want to is definitely one of the ways that I can think of to begin with!

I came to understand something. It is in my believe, that everyone has the potential to become who they want to be.

In my case, I was an extreme introvert who was able to program myself to have an extrovert button to be switched on when necessary.

That means I am still quiet in nature but if the situation calls for it, I will be able to start talking to people without much problems and start socializing with people around me.

I believe YOU have the potential to do this as well. To bring out the Truest-Alpha-You. YOU have the ability buried deep down inside and YOU just need to get the right tools to start digging it out and present your “Hidden Potential” to the world.

I will do my best to provide you with these tools. To help you achieve your goal in becoming an individual with confidence and, who has the ability to not only create new relationships and maintain them (IF that is what you’re struggling with), but also, I will do my best to help inspire you to reach for your ideal life.

However, as much as I am willing to help you and give you the tools, it is all up to you on whether or not you choose to learn on how to operate the tools and use them. It is entirely up to you on whether you will practice on how to use these tools that I give you and eventually, become a master in it.

As the saying goes, you can bring the horse to the river but whether they drink it or not, its their choice.

But do take note, I am not here to teach you or guide you as a teacher! I am here to share what I’ve learned with you and I hope that you will share what you’ve learned with me as well!

Ultimately, the end goal is to create a world of positivity and inspiration.

A world where anything is possible and filled with hope!

I want to thank you for taking your time to come here and read my articles and my little mini-biography. I hope whatever you find here will be meaningful to you and hope it will make a difference in your life for the better as well!

If you find what I’m doing here with my friends meaningful, please help share and spread the word and support us by following us on our Social Media like FaceBook, Twitter and Instagram etc (Links will be provided down below!).

Till the next article, keep your dreams alive for a better, and more fulfilling life.

Your friend,
Benjamin Ngiam

Cheers for reaching the end of this article about me! Here’s a pat on your back for sticking through with me! *Pat*

I heart You. Lol okay I’ll stop.

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Hope to see you there, Champ!

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